Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?

Here's a transcript of an old text conversation I found archived on my phone.

Me: So if I teach you zouk, what are you going to do for me? I mean, can you cook, sing, or do striptease?

No reply. She didn't buy my alpha asshole game. The shock.

I figured I'd give her a few days, but ended up forgetting about her. Looking back on it I think "what are you going to do for me?" is an epic fail. No-one likes obligations.

Then, two weeks later while browsing my phone for leads (as you do) I found the loose thread and figured it wouldn't hurt to give it another shot before sending her contacts the way of the recycling bin.

Me: Okay, no problem. I'll take cooking. Striptease is way overrated anyway... PLUS you already told me you can cook awesome filipino food, right?

Her: Haha no i dont cook filipino food but nice try how long are you staying in rio?

This is a much better message. It contains my favourite subtle mandarin-neg which says that food is more important to you than her and also implies that she is attracted and just didn't reply for two weeks because like her phone had a flat battery or something.

We flirted some more but I ended up with a different girl.

Real life always trumps text game.

About Sam Vincente

Sam Vincente was born in prison in Ecuador. He surfs, travels, reads physics papers and talks to girls. His mission is to break the world land speed record in a shopping trolley. You can follow him via RSS or on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and even on Google+.